Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Movie Review: On Her Majesty's Secret Service 2 Stars

George Lazenby was the sucker Bond -- even lamer than Timothy Dalton, if you can believe that -- and On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is a movie even more uninteresting than Licence to Kill. Outside of the unintentionally funny camp, a couple of thrilling ski-chase sequences, songs by schmaltz wizard Hal David, and Diana Rigg, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service has little going for it. As a matter of fact, if it wasn’t a Bond film, it would be just another movie about an international superagent spy cavorting with beautiful women as he battles evil geniuses who threaten to take over the world.

Bond, James Bond, falls in love with Countess Tracy Draco (Diana Rigg), the daughter of a wealthy industrialist (Gabriele Ferzetti) who moonlights as the head of Europe’s biggest crime family. Bond and daddy Draco become allies, Draco aiding the secret agent man in bringing down insane criminal savant Blofeld (Telly Savalas) who has recruited an army to carry out his devious plot by hypnotizing beautiful allergenic women from around the world.

An avalanche, a high-speed bobsled chase, and the tragic ending to Bond’s honeymoon later, George Lazenby has the dubious honor of being the only James Bond ever to cry on camera. Lazenby also happens to be the only Bond who doesn’t look good in a suit, the only Bond who sounds stupid uttering offhanded remarks and the only Bond who fights like a girl.

I can’t say On Her Majesty’s Secret Service isn’t entertaining. Diana Rigg is imminently watchable and who doesn’t love Telly Savalas? But in the history of the long-running Bond franchise, this is by far the lowest moment.

1 comment:

DiVicenzo said...

Well, even though I agree with your comments about Diana Rigg - who wouldn't? I can't agree with your comments about OHMSS, George Lazenby or Timothy Dalton. Maybe you just don't like the real 007. OHMSS and both actors were the closest actors who got to the reall 007 - as in the books. George Lazenby even though stilted in the meeting with Draco scene is pure James Bond as is Timothy Dalton. As for George Lazenby's fighting - that was superb and that's why he got the part. And, my God did he look sexy in a suit!
Maybe we just saw different for the crying - wouldn't you cry if your new wife had just been killed even if she wasn't Diana Rigg. The fact that it *was* Diana Rigg magnifies it a million times!
OHMSS in my opinion is the best Bond film alongside Goldfinger and the new Casino Royale...and, by the way Diana Rigg still looks great at 68!